Lightbulb Jokes for robert@fm

3 Dec 2002, 04:45 AM

robert@fm, I know you have an interest in mathematics and logic so I thought you might enjoy these lightbulb jokes:

Q: How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.

Q: How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: If x mathematicians can change a light bulb and if one more simply watches them do it, then x+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb. Therefore, based on this hypothesis, we may infer that for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Adrian Bell · 3 Dec 2002, 06:27 AM

Q: How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We can see no need for uninstallation and have therefore made no provision for light bulbs to be removed.

robert@fm · 3 Dec 2002, 10:55 PM

How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

None — it's a hardware problem.

(OK, I know that's an ancient one, but...)

labarum · 4 Dec 2002, 10:02 AM

How many Paras does it take to change a lightbulb?

Three. One to do the job and two to tell him how good he is.

==============

How many Marines does it take to changes a light bulb?

None. Marines are not frightened of the dark.

=================

National notes:

Paras = Airborne Forces.

"change a light bulb" because in UK we use bayonet cap lamps.

robert@fm · 5 Dec 2002, 01:24 AM

How many England soccer squad managers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None — the bulb always worked before...

5 Dec 2002, 04:14 AM

Q: How many Classical Economists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None. They believe it would be better if the bulb changed itself instead of having exogenous market forces, i.e., government intervention, address the problem of no illumination.

robert@fm · 3 May 2003, 02:18 AM

Another ancient one:

Q. How many behavioural psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. One, but the bulb has to want to change...

Dave P in StLouis · 3 May 2003, 03:44 AM

A Dominican, a Franciscan, and a Jesuit were visiting a shrine. Suddenly the lights went out. The Dominican stood up and said, "Let us consider the nature of light and of darkness, and their meaning."

The Franciscan began to sing a hymn in honor of our Little Sister Darkness.

The Jesuit went out and replaced the fuse.

ROBERT.BAK · 15 Jun 2019, 04:22 AM

How many Pink Floyd fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
I don't know, I was really drunk at the time.

Bamb0 · 15 Jun 2019, 12:31 PM

Hehehe a g00d one!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by robert@fm

Q. How many behavioural psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. One, but the bulb has to want to change...

I heard this on the movie ON THE EDGE OF INNOCENCE - 1997 (A favourite of mine)

I think anyway (Yea she told it in the car as they were driving back to the institution)

3 Dec 2002, 04:45 AM	#1
Guest Posts: n/a	Lightbulb Jokes for robert@fm robert@fm, I know you have an interest in mathematics and logic so I thought you might enjoy these lightbulb jokes: Q: How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness. Q: How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: If x mathematicians can change a light bulb and if one more simply watches them do it, then x+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb. Therefore, based on this hypothesis, we may infer that for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

3 Dec 2002, 06:27 AM	#2
Adrian Bell Cornerstone of the Community Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Darlington, UK Posts: 938	Q: How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb? A: We can see no need for uninstallation and have therefore made no provision for light bulbs to be removed.

3 Dec 2002, 10:55 PM	#3
robert@fm The "e" in e-mail Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: London, UK Posts: 4,681	How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None — it's a hardware problem. (OK, I know that's an ancient one, but...)

4 Dec 2002, 10:02 AM	#4
labarum Essential Contributor Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: UK and Cyprus Posts: 399	How many Paras does it take to change a lightbulb? Three. One to do the job and two to tell him how good he is. ============== How many Marines does it take to changes a light bulb? None. Marines are not frightened of the dark. ================= National notes: Paras = Airborne Forces. "change a light bulb" because in UK we use bayonet cap lamps.

5 Dec 2002, 01:24 AM	#5
robert@fm The "e" in e-mail Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: London, UK Posts: 4,681	How many England soccer squad managers does it take to change a lightbulb? None — the bulb always worked before...

5 Dec 2002, 04:14 AM	#6
Guest Posts: n/a	Q: How many Classical Economists does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. They believe it would be better if the bulb changed itself instead of having exogenous market forces, i.e., government intervention, address the problem of no illumination.

3 May 2003, 02:18 AM	#7
robert@fm The "e" in e-mail Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: London, UK Posts: 4,681	Another ancient one: Q. How many behavioural psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb? A. One, but the bulb has to want to change...

3 May 2003, 03:44 AM	#8
Dave P in StLouis Cornerstone of the Community Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: St. Louis, MO USA Posts: 597	A Dominican, a Franciscan, and a Jesuit were visiting a shrine. Suddenly the lights went out. The Dominican stood up and said, "Let us consider the nature of light and of darkness, and their meaning." The Franciscan began to sing a hymn in honor of our Little Sister Darkness. The Jesuit went out and replaced the fuse.

15 Jun 2019, 04:22 AM	#9
ROBERT.BAK Essential Contributor Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Backup of robert@fm Posts: 245	How many Pink Floyd fans does it take to change a lightbulb? I don't know, I was really drunk at the time.