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26 Dec 2002, 07:07 AM | #1 | ||
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etiquette?
First I have a practical etiquette Q, then my perspective on this site's etiquette article.
My Q: Someone just emailed me as follows: Quote:
Sometimes I think it would be nice if email service providers would offer a way for people to make a notation of their personal preferences. For example, then I could reference the aforesaid message to see if the sender has a checkmark notated in the "prefers acknowledgements" column, whereupon I'd be assured that he wouldn't be annoyed by a petty acknowledgement. OK, now for my comment on your email etiquette article: Quote:
I find the situation as bad in real life, maybe even worse. Because in real life, I have a voice and slurred diction, with a barely distinguishable "s" sound. My voice misrepresents my intent, so therefore people are always misreading me. By way of analogy, my voice can be compared to Voice Disguise available on Internet chat. Just as Voice Diguise can be deceptive by making females sound as if they're male, to that extent does my real-life verbal communication misrepresent me. Also note that some people suffer from sound distortion (reference websites by faceblind people). These people are often better off online, than in real life. Ditto with respect to autistics. |
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26 Dec 2002, 12:40 PM | #2 |
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For myself, I'm never annoyed when I get a response that says "Ok thanks" or whatever. Especially if it's business or one is working on something with someone. But I can't speak for others. They might not like anything other than "getting down to business" and might find acknowledgement messages a waste of their time. Technically right now one can't really avoid having someone send them these types of acknowledgement messages. Someone could say is "No need to respond to this message" but that may be too polite; the recipient might want to just blast them off a "Thanks!" anyway.
I think the only thing someone could state that may work (and they'd have to do this with each correspondent and sometimes with updated reminders to abusers of their "rule") is that "I'm very very busy and want to read only email with useful/pertinent information. I'd appreciate it if you would refrain from sending me acknowledgements or emails with minor content that are unimportant". This sounds like it'd come from a very grumpy person but it could work. A similar thing that friends have requested of me (and others in their address books) is this...if we decide to send them an online egreeting, that we use a different email address than their good one. (otherwise, you know, that good email address is now open for spam and for their address to be sold, etc.) I try really hard to respect the wishes of these (two) friends that have asked me this. However, although both are great, friendly people, I've known both of them to become very upset when they've asked someone to respect their wishes about this, and then the person has gone ahead anyway and sent them egreetings to their good address (they've complained to me about others). It's a matter of good etiquette to respect anyone's wishes about avoiding something that annoys them, and that also falls into the technology realm, of which email can be a huge time-suck. We are truly SPENDING another's time when we send them email. So I really think right now the only thing one can do to make their wishes known about this is to make appropriate requests of their correspondents. And if some (like you maybe?) is very sensitive to this issue and is concerned that a person may be annoyed at you, ask them. They might not have a problem with it, or you may find out that they want to keep emails "down to business". |
27 Dec 2002, 12:25 PM | #3 | |
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Gankaku thanks for responding! Actually, this situation is one in which the correspondent is a stranger who offered to provide me with some free artwork, since he's an experienced artist. It was very nice of him to offer this, and I certainly don't want to waste his time by asking him for his preferences as to whether he prefers, or doesn't prefer, acknowledgements.
The same goes for many other strangers with whom I occasionally exchange goal-oriented-info online. A recent example, was corresponding with someone whose acne post I saw online, to ask the guy where a certain acne treatment is located in pharmacies. Upon his response, so as not to waste his time, I wrote in the Subject line: Thanks for the info (N.T.) - meaning "No Text". So, to repeat what I said before: Quote:
SH - denoting that short & sweet acknowledgements are preferred" or NO - denoting that "no acknowledgements are preferred" |
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29 Dec 2002, 03:45 PM | #4 |
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The abbreviation for this is NRN and we place it at the end of our message. If we leave it off we have no cause to be annoyed.
NRN (No Reply Necessary) Another tipoff would be if the request was made with a TIA (Thanks In Advance) indicating you won't get the trivial thanks in reply. |
29 Dec 2002, 04:33 PM | #5 |
The "e" in e-mail
Join Date: Jan 2002
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Shelded's given good answers.
OTOH, I think it's weird not to want thanks for doing something for someone. People say 'oh, it was nothing' or 'no thank you necessary', but I think these requests should be considered polite formalities, not indications that a thank you is truly unwelcome. These may well be the people most in need of that show of thanks. Signs of appreciation - from nods, waves and smiles, to emails that say nothing but thanks, to gifts, awards and public recognition are extremely important. We want to be happy, right, and isn't it great that you can do that by thanking people who've done something well? I don't feel nearly as good after posting an answer to someone's support question than I do when I find out that they got the answer, and it helped them, especially if they take the time to say thank you. |
29 Dec 2002, 08:06 PM | #6 |
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On weekends I handle the webmaster support emails at FastMail.FM; at these times I handle a *lot* of email!
Even on the busiest days, receiving a 'thanks', 'well done', etc is motivating and appreciated. I'd be surprised if many people objected to courtesy and a kind word. |
1 Jan 2003, 03:38 PM | #7 | |
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Quote:
However, if what I suggested would become standard across the board for ESP's, then people might catch on. However, it would have to be done in a way that's obvious, such that people would see a select box stating: Check this box if you do not need reply from recipient P.S. I don't remember ever having seen an NRN in any emails received to date. All I've seen is Noreply listed as a sender's address in automated emails. |
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1 Jan 2003, 03:42 PM | #8 | |
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Quote:
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17 Dec 2003, 08:36 PM | #9 |
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Hmmm well it depends. I virtually always send emails thanking people, except of course to huge corporations that take like 10 years to read emails (they would probably just delete it straight away anyway)
I find it rude if people don't send me an email of thanks, so as I said above I think its important to try and aknowledge their help. Cheers, dan |
17 Dec 2003, 09:47 PM | #10 |
The "e" in e-mail
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: The Netherlands
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Dan,
If a MultiMillion corporation's Support Crew has actually helped me I usually send them a message like "I know you're probably very busy helping other customers, so I won't take much of your time. I just wanted to say THANK YOU for helping me out with this problem in such a timely and appropriate way. It's good to see quality support from such a large company as yours. Keep up the great work!" The idea being that if/when the support person handling my ticket receives it, he'll be glad to have helped a customer, and perhaps be more motivated to give the same quality to others as well.. --K |
18 Dec 2003, 11:16 AM | #11 |
The "e" in e-mail
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Wow old thread! Reminds me of a blog I was reading recently about whether it's appropriate to be impolite to telemarketers.
Seems to me that whatever someone asks you or tells you or offers to pay you to do, if it's unethical, you shouldn't, whether it's telemarketing, genocide, accounting fraud or anything else. "It's my job and I need the money" is no excuse. |
18 Dec 2003, 04:39 PM | #12 | |
The "e" in e-mail
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Holon, Israel.
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Quote:
(and then perhaps s/he gets promoted to a position that doesn't have direct contact with customers ) About the original problem raised in the beginning of this thread: the question is if a message acknowledging the receipt of an email should be acknowledged, and in that case it was sent to someone who vulunteered to do some work on it, so the original sender might feel that he should show interest in it to be sure the volunteer understands it is urgent, but of course the sender doen't want the volunteer feel like being pushed to do the volunteer work. The specific example gives a way out: the email can be quoted at the bottom, and the response refer only to the "Happy Holidays!" part. |
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