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Old 1 Mar 2003, 03:36 AM   #1
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Smile Medical Reports

The following are actual comments found on some physician and hospital progress reports:

Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

On the second day, the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared completely.

She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993.

The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

The patient refused an autopsy.

The patient has no past history of suicides.

Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.

Patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40-pound weight gain in the past three days.

Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.

She is numb from her toes down.

While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.

The skin was moist and dry.

Patient suffers from occasional, constant but infrequent headaches.

Patient was alert and unresponsive.

Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.

She stated that she had been constipated for most of her adult life, until she got a divorce.

The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.

The pelvic examination will be done later on the floor.

Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
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Old 1 Mar 2003, 12:51 PM   #2
robert@fm
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Reminds me of the allegedly true story about the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals quitting a local branch HQ because, according to a spokesperson, "there wasn't enough room to swing a cat"...
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Old 1 Mar 2003, 01:01 PM   #3
FMRocks
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Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Geez! Now I have a new medical problem. I am so depressed after reading this I can't stop laughing .
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Old 30 Dec 2021, 11:50 AM   #4
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Hehe pretty funny comments

Im somehow not surprised they were put there!
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