|
The Off-Topic Lounge APPROPRIATE FAMILY-FRIENDLY TOPICS ONLY - READ THE RULES! This forum is for posting anything (excluding topics prohibited by the forum rules) that's unrelated to email. General discussions, in other words. |
|
Thread Tools |
23 Mar 2011, 05:13 AM | #286 |
Essential Contributor
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 369
|
I can't see an end. I have no control and I don't think there's any escape - I don't even have a home anymore.
Definitely time for a new keyboard. |
23 Mar 2011, 01:02 PM | #287 |
The "e" in e-mail
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 4,681
|
News just in from Toontown is that Uncle Remus is in hospital following a nasty accident.
He zipped his doo-dah. |
4 Apr 2011, 12:24 AM | #288 |
Moderator
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: British Columbia
Posts: 4,008
|
|
7 Apr 2011, 05:54 AM | #289 |
Cornerstone of the Community
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Hot Springs, AR
Posts: 857
|
Ha!
Can't remember where i picked this one up from: And what's the difference between a mother-in-law and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist. |
8 Apr 2011, 08:28 AM | #290 |
The "e" in e-mail
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 4,681
|
A man walked into a bar and heard a voice saying "Goodness, sir, you do look smart tonight." Immediately followed by another saying "No he doesn't, he's fat and ugly."
Baffled, he asked the barman "What on earth was that all about?" The barman replied "Sorry sir; the peanuts are complimentary but the jukebox is out of order." |
8 Apr 2011, 09:01 AM | #291 |
Cornerstone of the Community
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Hot Springs, AR
Posts: 857
|
Typical British sense of humour Robert!
As a Canadian citizen, member of the venerable British Commonwealth, i caught it! Speaking of politics! We're in election time here ay! Here's a classic that went live on the radio (i think, it was before my days, or very early days, back in the 60's if i'm not mistaken). Réal Cayouette, head of the Parti Créditiste said something like this: "Canada is standing on the edge of a precipe. With the Creditists in power, we shall help it make a step forward!" Yay! « Le Canada est au bord du précipice et avec les créditistes au pouvoir nous lui ferons faire un pas en avant ». Last edited by dantheman : 8 Apr 2011 at 09:02 AM. Reason: Touch up. |
8 Apr 2011, 04:08 PM | #292 |
Essential Contributor
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 369
|
"This joke was posted here some three years ago. Reposting is not allowed in this forum"
|
11 Apr 2011, 07:40 AM | #293 |
The "e" in e-mail
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 4,681
|
Proverbs
Has anyone else noticed how the proverbs "Look before you leap" and "He who hesitates is lost" contradict one another?
Some more proverbs rethought for modern times: The early bird catches the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. People who live in glass houses had better have clean habits. If at first you don't succeed, don't take up skydiving. |
12 Apr 2011, 09:57 PM | #294 |
Essential Contributor
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 369
|
A router comes into a doctor's office and says: it hurts when IP
|
13 Apr 2011, 10:30 PM | #295 |
= Permanently banned =
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 1
|
Gud mornig, lols
|
30 Nov 2011, 08:36 AM | #296 |
Cornerstone of the Community
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Hot Springs, AR
Posts: 857
|
To all the Newfie fans!
Patrick's pregnant sister was in a terrible car accident and went
into a deep coma. After being in the coma for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby. The doctor replies, 'Ma'am, you had twins ... a boy and a girl. The babies are fine, however, they were poorly at birth, and had to be christened immediately so your brother Patrick came in and named them. The woman thinks to herself, ' Oh suffering Jesus, no, not me brother, he's a clueless idiot! Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor,' Well, what's my daughter's name? 'Denise' says the doctor. The new mother is somewhat relieved, 'Wow, that's a beautiful name, I guess I was wrong about my brother', she thought ...'I really like Denise ' Then she asks, ' What's the boy's name?' The doctor replies ' Denephew ' |
1 Dec 2011, 03:38 AM | #297 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Jersey, USA
Posts: 195
|
|
1 Dec 2011, 06:15 AM | #298 |
Cornerstone of the Community
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Hot Springs, AR
Posts: 857
|
Long live the Queen!
Anyway, I'm almost an ex-member of the Commonwealth too! - - - Not sure if this is British or American humour... Friends of mine met a neighbour who had two of his little boys with him. They asked the youngsters what their names were. First one said Javed and the younger one replied Malyx. Getting back home, the one friend said, hey if you switch a few letters you have: Javex (to clean the outside) and Malox for the inside! |
1 Dec 2011, 06:20 AM | #299 |
The "e" in e-mail
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Manchester UK
Posts: 2,616
|
Got to be American humour . . . or humor!
I had to look up javex and malox to see what they were. |
1 Dec 2011, 06:27 AM | #300 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Jersey, USA
Posts: 195
|
I'm still working on the peanuts and the jukebox.
|
Thread Tools | |
|
|