Humour... - Page 21

bramhall · 1 Dec 2011, 06:44 AM

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, "Can you all see me now?"
"Yes."
"Oui."
"Sí."
"Ja."

dantheman · 1 Dec 2011, 09:39 AM

Dat's a keeper!

**CyberSmurf** · 2 Dec 2011, 09:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tom Gallagher

I'm still working on the peanuts and the jukebox.

"complimentary" can mean free, or it can refer to someone/something expressing praise or flattery.
"out of order", can refer to a machine or piece of equipment that is not working correctly, or it could mean behavior that is is annoying or not suitable.

Tom Gallagher · 2 Dec 2011, 10:48 PM

Thanks Smurf, now I get it. Sheeesh.

janusz · 20 Dec 2011, 10:19 PM

Is it just me......

or does anybody else find pressing F5 refreshing?

bramhall · 4 Jan 2012, 05:25 AM

My New Year's resolutions are:

1. Stop making lists.
B. Be more consistent.
7. Learn to count.

ROBERT.BAK · 6 Dec 2012, 04:07 PM

A sociologist has recently done an essay on the phenomenon of how young women out night-clubbing tend to wear skimpy outfits, even in freezing cold weather such as we have currently.

In other news, there have been several recent sightings of blue tits in central London.

janusz · 6 Dec 2012, 10:16 PM

I passed this joke on by email (as one does...) to the business address of a friend of mine working in a big UK insurance company. The message did not reach the intended recipient: <my address> has sent you a message that contains profanity.

bramhall · 6 Dec 2012, 11:59 PM

Q: Why is it that programmers always confuse Halloween with Christmas?
A: Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC.

Tom Gallagher · 7 Dec 2012, 12:06 AM

HUH ???

bramhall · 7 Dec 2012, 12:27 AM

31 OCTal = 25 DECimal

dantheman · 22 Mar 2013, 05:03 AM

Apparently they've discovered why women live longer than men.

They want to make sure they get the last word in.

robert@fm · 26 Jun 2013, 06:47 AM

In England, they will take a tree, cut it down, remove the branches and the bark until they are left with a cylinder. Next, they will take the cylinder of wood and turn it on a lathe and whittle away until they are left with a perfectly formed bat. The bat will be cured and treated to strengthen it and then, when it is finally ready, they will use it to knock a leather ball around a park.

In Scotland, they just throw the tree.

janusz · 26 Jun 2013, 04:42 PM

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, French scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the French: in the weeks that followed, American archaeologists dug to a depth of 20 feet before finding traces of copper wire. Shortly afterwards, they published an article in the New York Times saying : "American archaeologists, having found traces of 250-year-old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 50 years earlier than the French."

A few weeks later, the British Archaeological Society of Northern England reported the following: "After digging down to a depth of 33 feet in the Skipton area of North Yorkshire in 2011,Charlie Hardcastle, a self-taught local amateur archaeologist, reported that he had found absolutely bugger all. Charlie has therefore concluded that 250 years ago, Britain had already gone wireless."

Just makes you bloody proud to be British.

Tom Gallagher · 27 Jun 2013, 08:46 AM

Lmao................

4 Jan 2012, 05:25 AM	#306
bramhall Essential Contributor Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 369	My New Year's resolutions are: 1. Stop making lists. B. Be more consistent. 7. Learn to count.

26 Jun 2013, 06:47 AM	#313
robert@fm The "e" in e-mail Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: London, UK Posts: 4,681	The Difference in Nations!!! In England, they will take a tree, cut it down, remove the branches and the bark until they are left with a cylinder. Next, they will take the cylinder of wood and turn it on a lathe and whittle away until they are left with a perfectly formed bat. The bat will be cured and treated to strengthen it and then, when it is finally ready, they will use it to knock a leather ball around a park. In Scotland, they just throw the tree.

26 Jun 2013, 04:42 PM	#314
janusz The "e" in e-mail Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: EU Posts: 4,943	More national stereotyping.... After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, French scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago. Not to be outdone by the French: in the weeks that followed, American archaeologists dug to a depth of 20 feet before finding traces of copper wire. Shortly afterwards, they published an article in the New York Times saying : "American archaeologists, having found traces of 250-year-old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 50 years earlier than the French." A few weeks later, the British Archaeological Society of Northern England reported the following: "After digging down to a depth of 33 feet in the Skipton area of North Yorkshire in 2011,Charlie Hardcastle, a self-taught local amateur archaeologist, reported that he had found absolutely bugger all. Charlie has therefore concluded that 250 years ago, Britain had already gone wireless." Just makes you bloody proud to be British.

1 Dec 2011, 06:44 AM	#301
bramhall Essential Contributor Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 369	An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, "Can you all see me now?" "Yes." "Oui." "Sí." "Ja."

1 Dec 2011, 09:39 AM	#302
dantheman Cornerstone of the Community Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Hot Springs, AR Posts: 857	Dat's a keeper!

2 Dec 2011, 10:48 PM	#304
Tom Gallagher Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Jersey, USA Posts: 195	Thanks Smurf, now I get it. Sheeesh.

20 Dec 2011, 10:19 PM	#305
janusz The "e" in e-mail Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: EU Posts: 4,943	Is it just me...... or does anybody else find pressing F5 refreshing?

6 Dec 2012, 04:07 PM	#307
ROBERT.BAK Essential Contributor Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Backup of robert@fm Posts: 245	A sociologist has recently done an essay on the phenomenon of how young women out night-clubbing tend to wear skimpy outfits, even in freezing cold weather such as we have currently. In other news, there have been several recent sightings of blue tits in central London.

6 Dec 2012, 10:16 PM	#308
janusz The "e" in e-mail Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: EU Posts: 4,943	I passed this joke on by email (as one does...) to the business address of a friend of mine working in a big UK insurance company. The message did not reach the intended recipient: <my address> has sent you a message that contains profanity.

6 Dec 2012, 11:59 PM	#309
bramhall Essential Contributor Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 369	Q: Why is it that programmers always confuse Halloween with Christmas? A: Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC.

7 Dec 2012, 12:06 AM	#310
Tom Gallagher Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Jersey, USA Posts: 195	HUH ???

7 Dec 2012, 12:27 AM	#311
bramhall Essential Contributor Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 369	31 OCTal = 25 DECimal

22 Mar 2013, 05:03 AM	#312
dantheman Cornerstone of the Community Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Hot Springs, AR Posts: 857	Apparently they've discovered why women live longer than men. They want to make sure they get the last word in.

27 Jun 2013, 08:46 AM	#315
Tom Gallagher Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Jersey, USA Posts: 195	Lmao................