Friend, pal, mate, buddy

[JeffK]

I am interested to know the different connotations in different places of the terms: friend, mate, pal and buddy.

Would any of you Aussies and foreigners like to have a go at how you think these different word are used in your neck of the woods, please?

Jeff

[xbot]

Originally posted by JeffK
I am interested to know the different connotations in different places of the terms: friend, mate, pal and buddy.

Would any of you Aussies and foreigners like to have a go at how you think these different word are used in your neck of the woods, please?

Jeff

Friend: A person we regularly talk to.
Mate: Girlfriend/Boyfriend
Pal: A friend, only has variables such as long distance types.
Buddy: The friends you hang out with all the time. Hang out, not meaning hanging yourself on a tree, rather sitting and talking or watching TV or some activity like that. Except for hanging yourself on a high up object of course. Which is what makes the USA get a really bad image in China. "They hang out? That is horrible! And they call themselves civilised!"

[JeffK]

I've got a more specific question.

If I said to you "That person and I are good mates" or " You and I are good mates", that means to me we are good friends, that is people who are close enough to care for one another, not just aquantainces or work colleagues.

In your experience is there any sexual connotation in the phrase "good mates"? Would you be offended if I called you a "good mate" if we knew each other reasonably well? What if we had not known each other for very long?

I'm particularly interested in how this is viewed in North America or in Asia eg in India or South East Asia.

Jeff

[xbot]

Originally posted by JeffK
I've got a more specific question.

If I said to you "That person and I are good mates" or " You and I are good mates", that means to me we are good friends, that is people who are close enough to care for one another, not just aquantainces or work colleagues.

In your experience is there any sexual connotation in the phrase "good mates"? Would you be offended if I called you a "good mate" if we knew each other reasonably well? What if we had not known each other for very long?

I'm particularly interested in how this is viewed in North America or in Asia eg in India or South East Asia.

Jeff

Depends. We have an undererstanding of our unusual language modifications, so when you say stuff that isn't quite right here, but you are in another country, we begin assuming things. When I hear 'mate', here that would be an insane thing to say. Because there are so many words than 'mate' that can be used.

But people in other countries have different ways of saying things and we know that. So when you say 'mate', it's not a big deal, because you are not in the USA. Now if you were in the USA, I'd be on the floor laughing because that isn't said that often around here.

[JRobert]

Originally posted by JeffK
I've got a more specific question.

If I said to you "That person and I are good mates" or " You and I are good mates", that means to me we are good friends, that is people who are close enough to care for one another, not just aquantainces or work colleagues.

In your experience is there any sexual connotation in the phrase "good mates"? Would you be offended if I called you a "good mate" if we knew each other reasonably well? What if we had not known each other for very long?

I'm particularly interested in how this is viewed in North America or in Asia eg in India or South East Asia.

Jeff

"Mate" (n) is a synonym for "spouse" here (USA), but it would be obvious from the context (if not from the differences in our accents! that you did not intend that meaning.
That, and a few of us actually roam beyond our borders and know (a little) about customs and nuances of language different from our own, despite the impression given by too many others of us. (sarcasm not directed at present company!)

[JeffK]

Would one refer to one's spouse in the US as a "good mate"? Would that mean good wife/husband or would it mean a good friend?

Jeff

[SusanUKF]

Jeff:

A good friend is someone I care about and who I can talk to, confide it, depend upon. A very good friend even moreso, obviously. There are definitely various degrees of friendship, to some who are casual whom one does not necessarily trust as much, to your best of friends, who you trust totally.

A mate is a good pal you chum around with. I love Australian and UK television shows so have that concept in mind.
I also think of it as a partner in the romantic sense as well, depending on the context of the discussion.
If a guy said "I am goin' 'round the pub with me mates" on a British television show, I understand that he is going down to the local bar to have a have a few drinks with his friends.

A pal is someone that is a good friend, someone you can kid around with, share laughter and tears with, someone you can depend on, when you have an emergency and need a babysitter right away to help you out, for me that would be a person who would pop into my head!

A buddy is someone you chum with but maybe is part of your group, your social circle, but not perhaps your best friend or anything.
I know in some UK shows the term has been used thus:
"Watch it there, buddy!" as almost a threat, not in a friendship tone in the least.

These are all only my interpretations of what I think of when these terms are used of course, and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Canadians or anything in general. It is very important to bear in mind that most of the television viewing I do watch (which is not much since I have had the net to be honest! ) is almost always from The United Kingdom. I was a major Eastenders fan until they cancelled it here!

Susan.

[Balcarras]

To me a good mate is a a good friend - nothing sexual. Pretty much like you described it originally, Jeff. But I'm Swedish so hey...
(lived in London for a few years though)

[JRobert]

Originally posted by JeffK
Would one refer to one's spouse in the US as a "good mate"? Would that mean good wife/husband or would it mean a good friend?
Jeff

I think that would be un-typical usage of "mate", here.

-jeff-

[xbot]

Where I am, each of the words is a degree of friendship (Except for mate; we rarely EVER use that word in Michigan. Now in other states, I cannot guarantee.)

Also, this differs heavily in the USA. I am in the North, and you will get different answers from people in the North, South, and West. As much as you would think we are the most united nation in the world, we are very divided. Just look at the accents. You know those surfers? You see those in the West. You know the Truckers with the almost slowly annoying accent? That's the deep south. You know the clear, distinguished, but heavily slanged accent? That's the North.

It is said that slang words are spread from the West to the North, and eventually to the South. It is also said that clothing and ideas spread from the North to the West and eventually the South.

That's what makes the USA such a powerful nation. We could easily be three different countries. However, each section of the US needs certain things from eachother. The West, for example, needs mostly just cotton and and manufactured goods. The South delivers cotton and other material to the West and North. The South needs manufactured goods, and that's where the North comes in. The North is manufacturing center of the USA. The North relies on the South mainly for financial profit. The West depends on the South, but the North can almost get along without the South. Each section is scarcely but strongly connected. The North and South NEED the west for food. As much as you think the South produces a lot of food, it's the West that produces most of it. This is because while the North can grow crops (technically we can grow them better than the South), it's impossible because we only have about 3 inches of good topsoil. The West has 13. So they can produce more food. Our climate conditions may be favorable, but the growing conditions are near perfect in the West.

In addition, the South is also a major world trading center.


So in short, you won't get a sure answer unless you ask someone from Missouri, New York City, and California.

[JeffK]

Wow, thanks for the geography lesson. We may have strayed a little close to politics there.

I think I've got the picture better now. In the US it's not very common usage and has a meaning other than friends.

However in the UK and Oz it does just mean good friend. Thank you Susan and Balcarras for your observations. In Australia we might call Susan an Anglophile.

What about Asia, particularly India. I'll give you a bit more. I'm considering a domain name which includes the letters mate for personal email. I now have many contacts in India through my involvement in the forum and helping hands scheme. I'm wondering if they would be offended receiving an email which implied that they were my "mates".

Jeff

[xbot]

Originally posted by JeffK
Wow, thanks for the geography lesson. We may have strayed a little close to politics there.

I think I've got the picture better now. In the US it's not very common usage and has a meaning other than friends.

However in the UK and Oz it does just mean good friend. Thank you Susan and Balcarras for your observations. In Australia we might call Susan an Anglophile.

What about Asia, particularly India. I'll give you a bit more. I'm considering a domain name which includes the letters mate for personal email. I now have many contacts in India through my involvement in the forum and helping hands scheme. I'm wondering if they would be offended receiving an email which implied that they were my "mates".

Jeff

Though I'm in the USA, I can still tell you that people here wouldn't be offended, and maybe the same there. This is because although we are a totally different culture, the fact is, we are heavily mixed. So people have different words for different things, and we understand this. When you understand the way cultures have set up their language, whether it be english or otherwise, you really don't mind and you think 'friend' when you see 'mate', because other cultures use that. Just like the English might use 'colour', but we in the US use color. We convert the colour into color, and we understand that they mean the same thing, even though they are spelled different.

Even though we completely don't like the idea of the extra 'u', we still have to deal with it.

On the safe side, you shouldn't use 'mate' in a domain name. In the US, the only way you use the word 'mate' and not sound crazy is if you add an animal name in front of it and an 's' and a 'with other animals'. Then it would be viable, but people would still giggle, being that there are other words to use

[SusanUKF]

Originally posted by xbot
Friend: A person we regularly talk to.
Mate: Girlfriend/Boyfriend
Pal: A friend, only has variables such as long distance types.
Buddy: The friends you hang out with all the time. Hang out, not meaning hanging yourself on a tree, rather sitting and talking or watching TV or some activity like that. Except for hanging yourself on a high up object of course. Which is what makes the USA get a really bad image in China. "They hang out? That is horrible! And they call themselves civilised!"

I do not think that any Chinese person would think that way quite frankly. They are exposed to enough American shows, music, etcetera to have a very good grasp of the language in its slang forms. They are very civilized themselves and can teach us all a lot about things like respecting our elderly, and being polite, and so on. When I was at university I made a few Chinese friends who were the nicest, most polite, and loyal friends you could meet. I highly doubt that the thing you said would even cross their minds quite frankly. They are taught about all the other countries, and may have a batter "world view" then many North Americans may have actually.

(BTW: I also think that the above post sounded pretty political...)

Susan.

[euroman]

Originally posted by JeffK
I am interested to know the different connotations in different places of the terms: friend, mate, pal and buddy.

Would any of you Aussies and foreigners like to have a go at how you think these different word are used in your neck of the woods, please?

Jeff

NSW Oz:
Friend: polite term for mate: sometimes not quite as close as a mate.

Mate: someone you go to the pub with/work with, muck around with, share common interests, someone who will just about die for you and vice versa.

Pal: don't like the term - sometimes used in derision (as can be 'mate' under some circumstances). (another term used in the schoolyard more than with adults). Seems to me another imported term.

Buddy: a term from a certian northern hemisphere country that snuck in downunder. I use with my son, but wouldn't use it with adults.

[euroman]

Originally posted by JeffK
I'm wondering if they would be offended receiving an email which implied that they were my "mates".

Jeff

Not at all. Have travelled to India many times and because we hold a mutual respect for the 'only' game there is - ie cricket - the term 'mate' is well understood between friends on off the field.